of course. lets lasso hookers.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
