It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
