I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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