Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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