he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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