Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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