I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
