how can u be prego again
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
