Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
