We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
