My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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