glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just tell him i said nine months
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
