bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
