I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
