Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
