ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
