those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so let's talk penis.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Pooping to opera.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize