I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
