And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize