I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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