Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
