Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
a search helicopter?!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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