thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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