She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
