They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
