My first STD was from a foam party
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
did you just send me my own nude
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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