it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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