yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
