I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
