**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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