stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
