:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
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Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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