Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
