Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
