Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
