its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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