Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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