I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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