Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
