I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize