He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
