If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
so much tequila, so little girl.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
