When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize