It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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