There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
