Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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