They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
