you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
