I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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