my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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