Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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