Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
