Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.