There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
