Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.