What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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