Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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