How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Randomize
