State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
