Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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