I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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