Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
