I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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