Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
